Every once in a while my children throw me for a loop. They are always saying crazy things and doing crazy things, but sometimes they make my heart break with their innocence.
Most of you know that my brother died almost 2 years ago. It was unexpected and all of sudden a huge presence in all of our lives was gone. My kids were 6 and 3 at the time and they are still processing it. Several weeks ago, Toby, my 4 year old sang a song to his baby brother which included the lines, “You are the best brother ever” and “You’ll never die”. I posted it on facebook and many of the parents from his preschool class commented that their child was talking about death also. It left me wondering if it was the age or if my child was spreading it around his class.
Yesterday we went out for brunch and had to wait to be seated. We were waiting outside and the boys were being pretty good—playing rock, paper, scissors and goofing around. Toby came up to me and out of the blue said, “You’ll never die, right?” What do you do at that moment? We all die and we don’t get to choose when or how. I don’t want to lie to my kids, but I don’t want him worrying that I (or any of us) might die at any minute. It’s a hard line to walk.
Later that morning he asked me who died after Uncle Eric. I wasn’t sure where he was going with that, but I brought up my grandmother who died in April. He got a sad look on his face and said “She used to save me treats”. And she did. She always had a chocolate chip cookie or something equally as exciting when the boys would come to visit. I reminded him how much she loved him and loved when he would visit and I held him tight.
What else could I do?
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